A VERY PERSONAL THOUGHT from Lance Wallnau October 2014
This week I was updated about a man I knew who stole from two women he dated. Another man, a millionaire is about to lose his business because his team can no longer work with his abusiveness. And I’ve had to make some tough calls with on-line personalities who don’t know when and how to push differences of opinion in chat rooms.
The first guy is evil, the second foolish and my hope is the third guy is wise. (But he may not be.) I assumed all three were wise – and thats why I am writing. To save you a lot of pain.
I owe a lot to Dr. Henry Cloud who enlightened me about:
the WISE, the FOOLISH, the EVIL. These are notes of his teaching with my thoughts added.
There really are 3 categories of people. Learn to DISCERN
Correct them and they change. (Assuming you are correct! Not always the case.) The wise thank you. So what do you do when you’re leading a wise person? You give them feedback. They listen. You may need coaching on how to coach them, but they respond to truth.
Good hearted people assume fools are wise and they get very confused when things get strange.
This is tricky. Fools are often very bright and gifted and charismatic. They can get results a lot of the time. This is why they’ve gotten as far as they have. But here’s the problem. With the wise person, when the light comes on, they adjust themselves to the light. With a fool, when the light comes on…it hurts their eyes. They try to dim it and they try to adjust the truth.
The wise man changes himself; the fool tries to change the truth.
“This wasn’t a big deal.”
“It’s not like that.”
Or, they shoot the messenger. When you give feedback and the first reflective move is defensiveness, let that be a warning sign. They externalize it, they shoot the messenger. A lot of times they get angry.
Here’s what the Bible says, and all research validates: “Rebuke a wise man and he will become wiser.”
But then the Bible changes its tone.
It says: “do not correct a fool, lest you incur insults upon yourself. Do not confront a mocker, lest they hate you. Etc.”
Here’s your strategy: Stop talking. Why? They have stopped listening.
You need to have a different conversation. Set a time limit and consequences. “Here’s whats going to happen.”
Fail to give boundaries and you are part of the problem.
This one is sad to see good hearted Christians get linked to. These people can be seductive yet steal you blind. Rob your virginity. Destroy your reputation. Paul said “pray that we be delivered from wicked and EVIL men…” (2 Thess 3:2)
Evil people actually intend to destroy. They want to inflict pain. I’ve seen this, and you have to believe it. There truly are bad people in the world. I’ve seen it in board meetings, I’ve seen it in high levels of leadership. Paul writes: “Reject a divisive person after a second warning. Have nothing to do with them.”
Your Strategy: Don’t return calls. Don’t reason.
This is where Lawyers and money and armed security provide protection and warfare prayer needs to disrupt the enemies attack.