For many years I’ve watched every slice of bread and cringed if there was ever a need to throw away food. It was a sure sign I had been neglectful and sloppy. Furthermore I couldn’t afford it. No eggs ever magically appeared in my refrigerator; no butter regenerated in a dish. So this summer when I was frequently forced to discard food, I blamed myself and tried to reform. But it happened again and again.
When you have a repetition of something God has a lesson in mind. It had never occurred to me before, but He has quite enough food available for the human race, myself included, and perhaps I need to believe him for generous servings instead of 40 years of penny pinching.
I have a friend who never eats leftovers; that seems to me to be a conceit of ego rather than of food safety. It must be nice to think that you do not need to lower yourself to the level of eating yesterday’s cold steak. But the opposite is true. My anguish over food loss was just another form of faithlessness.
I am not supposed to be spending my life chasing every toast crumb, but neither am I to assume God can’t provide. He certainly has on many occasions. I can remember one year where I had fewer than 3000 dollars income. Looking back I cannot imagine how I lived at all. In fact, when I made out my income tax, I added 2,000 dollars because I thought the IRS might believe I had lied. Well yes, but I did not want them asking me any questions because I don’t know to this day how I survived.
Just as I once learned to live on little now I must adapt myself to the knowledge that God can be generous to a fault – that He can lavish attention on me and provide not just enough to get by, but more than enough, not just for me but for others as well.
I got so excited about the prospect of excess I paid out 20% in tithe! Of course I can’t do that forever, or at least I don’t think I can, but when He said give to those people who needed it I did not say to myself, “That is not tax deductible.”
God is not interested in my tax deductible status – He’s interested in my obedience. And not doing His will when he makes His will clear simply because I don’t think He can replace the money or the food. That makes me no better than the “wicked” servant to buried the talent in the ground. And I have enough faults without being called wicked.