Category Archives: Personal Relationships

Where you are in God is important for you understanding other people and where they are not in God, their reactions and your understanding.

Warbird, Book Review

Tara Copp, author of Warbird, gives a literary rendering to a very non-literary time in her life as an embedded journalist in the Kuwait war zone. https://www.amazon.com/Warbird-Three-Heroes-Wars-Story/dp/0998061417

Tara Copp



The author has little fear, some natural intensity of purpose, a desire to be a team, and a unique opportunity as most of the embedded journalists were male. But later returning home she has a hard time adjusting to what happened to her – the shock of real bullets, the process of working with the soldiers without getting in their way, the close calls, their inexperience, the dust, the heat, the political fracas, and of course the enemy. The men, all of them real heroes, seemed to adjust better than she did. But many of them did not.

Trying to make sense of her experiences she investigated her grandfather’s life in World War II with his brother. It is an interesting story which she doggedly researched in military and other records. Military men will enjoy this lively picture into the past. But even after she makes peace with her grandfather’s reckless but productive life she is still uneasy. Her contacts from the war filter in and out of her life.

PTSD- Lite

She wandered through a series of disappointing boyfriends, a failed marriage, job moves and restlessness. For some of the soldiers she worked with had very much the same pattern of rootlessness and discontents. The full time soldiers fared better, but that did not negate their separation from their past lives. They just dumped them.

Missionaries tell the story of one of their fellows who headed into the African bush country leading a long caravan of supplies, food and personnel. The first day he was overjoyed over their progress: nine miles on day one, and seven miles the second day. But the morning of the third day the whole caravan stopped cold and refused to move. When the distraught missionary asked why, the Native Guide replied, “We are waiting for our souls to catch up.”

“We are waiting for our souls to catch up.”

Theologians think PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) is a crisis of image for those with an underdeveloped or damaged sense of self; they will be more negatively impacted by war. Her’s may be a clearer description of PTSD without the extremes of reaction. The military experience was so dislodging to their personalities that their souls did not catch up.

A level of trauma for everyone

Apparently war slams a trauma so severe it cannot be healed, merely absorbed into one’s personality and embraced as an asset rather than a curse. What you became in the battlefield will change you forever. You must deliberately move forward or not survive at all.

Essayist Cornelia Scott Cree writes on Applied Christianity, Dream Interpretation and Biblical Symbolism. She invites questions at her website https:WouldYouConsider.net.

#warwounds #PTSD #soldiersuicide

Let’s Rethink Single Dating

The younger generation has nearly abandoned the idea of marriage and there is a pile of reasons for that. Has anyone considered the hazards of going out on dates with only one person at a time?

You don’t really get to know someone if it is only the two of you.

I’ve been on enough dates to know you only show your good side – usually, and it is easy when there are no challenges. Males can be nice for 3 -5 hours. Maybe even 6 hours; they can be nice at work for 8 hours as well. Their job depends on it.

But when you get people in groups, other things happen.

Years ago well meaning friends decided I needed to not-be-single anymore so they arranged a dinner after church with someone I had no interest in at the time. I didn’t know they were plotting.

This man, I will call him Roy, ordered a burger and fries. Sounds easy right? But there was something wrong with the meat, then the mayo, then the fries were not up to snuff. By the time the meal was over I was ready to stuff the entire plate down his throat with the silverware to follow.

None of this drama would have occurred on a date between just the two of us. His mama’s Southern upbringing would have him display the finest South Carolina manners.

Let’s go back to courting

Courting, in contrast, is the public agreement that marriage is a possibility. If you and your date can agree on this, you will have a concrete goal of getting to know each other without prying eyes. Life is lived in the whole, not as a part. So the public behavior will tell you whom to delete from your list from the start.

Now, many years later and many years older, I have a little test of my own. If I invite him to a restaurant as my guest and while at the meal he insists that he pay, I know he is a control freak and the dating ends there. He is not ready to share his life, only to control it.

Your parents, if they are concerned at all, will also know the right time to make a decision. If “he” or “she” is not ready then you can both go your own way without too many tears or regrets. No baby, no divorce, no alimony or child support, no house to divide up, no pricey lawyers or court dates. Simple.

#dating #divorce #personalrelationships

Slo-Mo Hidden Suicide

Are you killing yourself with the words you speak?

My friend, who has a healing ministry, and I over dinner this weekend decided that based on our 100 combined years of experience, all issues are ultimately spiritual. We know too many people committing slow-motion suicide because of what is in their hearts, due to all that stuff coming out of their mouths.

Jesus said this, but how often do we brush right past his warning (from The Message.)

Evil speaking has consequences.

14-15 Jesus called the crowd together again and said, “Listen now, all of you—take this to heart. It’s not what you swallow that pollutes your life; it’s what you vomit—that’s the real pollution.”

17 When he was back home after being with the crowd, his disciples said, “We don’t get it. Put it in plain language.”

18-19 Jesus said, “Are you being willfully stupid? Don’t you see that what you swallow can’t contaminate you? It doesn’t enter your heart but your stomach, works its way through the intestines, and is finally flushed.” (That took care of dietary quibbling; Jesus was saying that all foods are fit to eat.)

20-23 He went on: “It’s what comes out of a person that pollutes: obscenities, lusts, thefts, murders, adulteries, greed, depravity, deceptive dealings, carousing, mean looks, slander, arrogance, foolishness—all these are vomit from the heart. There is the source of your pollution.”

President Trump most-hated man.

For over two years now the country has been ankle deep in open hatred and accusations against the Donald Trump, President of the United States – media, foreign governments, business leaders, university teachers and students, political activists, most newspapers, some money managers and a host of out-of-work actors. If the intention was to destroy the man or his presidency it has not worked.

The President is doing fine; he’s fit as a fiddle, and at 72 working 10 hour days, or more.  His critics are collapsing under the weight of their own venomous words.  These are clearly not a matter of political issues.

The critics fall by the wayside

As Jesus pointed out, evil speaking defiles (contaminates) the speaker not the person spoken about. You can be for or against gun control or abortion and it doesn’t matter; the people who are evil speakers are the ones committing slow motion suicide, going down or losing ground.  Most media groups, television, newspapers, and magazines are laying off staff. https://www.theblaze.com/news/2018/06/03/cnns-ratings-downslide-continues-with-massive-losses-gets-steamrolled-by-fox-news The money is just not coming in. People do not want to pay good money for lies, slander or just plain nastiness even when it may be true.

Emmanuel Macron, the President of France, criticized President Trump and within two weeks there were riots in the French streets and he was scrambling to salvage his own presidency. It probably does not help to be named Emmanuel which means “God with us.” https://www.cnbc.com/2018/12/10/france-riots-macron-expected-to-promise-economic-change-but-is-it-too-late.html

The four top corporations in the world either damned the President or the country, and a few took on criticizing God and within two months their CEOs were suffering public embarrassment. The New York State Legislature endorses the murder of live babies and within four weeks loses 30 billion in revenues when Amazon pulls out of a projected deal.

Justin Trudeau, the Prime Minister of Canada who loves the limelight, got into the act and almost overnight not another word from him.  We can only wonder who stopped that in its tracks. Maybe it was this tight-fisted Dutchman. https://www.cnbc.com/2019/01/24/dont-criticize-trump-we-need-him-dutch-prime-minister-says.html

A restaurant staff in Virginia demands that a White House employee leave the premises and not only that restaurant but the entire town fumes over a decrease in traffic and sales. https://www.foxnews.com/politics/red-hen-eateries-feel-the-heat-after-sarah-sanders-booted-from-virginia-restaurant-with-same-name

The law of sowing and reaping works

The richest man in the world announces a divorce and less than a fortnight later is exposed by embarrassing photos he took of himself in his birthday suit. Then the stock starts going down.  Wall Street does not like stupid CEOs.

Jussie Smollett perpetuated a dramatic hoax costing him over $3500 and CNN’s viewership went down 25% because they were deceived by the whole scam. http://click.heritage.org/n0M90nB03mre0TH0Qq61s2O

Some of the more daring comedians and actors have asked for an assassination of President Trump and now they can’t find work.  Because the First Amendment protects free speech there are no laws against saying something like this in secular society but God has another standard. He requires payback if your heart is evil and your slander intended to glorify yourself or to promote some immoral or self-serving position. His payback is that YOU get sick.

One woman I knew hated everybody – Jews, Catholics, men, women, Democrats and some Republicans, police, ministers, her family.  What she died of tells you all you ever need to know – she died of cancer of the jaw.  Apparently so much evil speaking lodged in her bones and took her down and out.

Jesus warned, “Guard your heart for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23.

#Jesus #God #Faith #hungbyyourtongue

Slander Changes Your Identity

That phrase was proven to me years ago when I had to endue lies about me among a circle of friends. If someone lies about you for any reason, it is because you are a threat to them in some way, a way you may not even realize. You may know something about them that they do not want noised about in public. Or they may think you know something about them.  You can be totally ignorant of their motives.

Slander establishes control over other people for someone’s or something’s own purposes.

Then it happened again recently. I was in the library and said to an acquaintance, “I miss seeing you.”  I was pleasant and I actually like this person a lot even though we only see each other 3 or so times a year. She snapped back at me, “Well I am here much of the time,” as though I was upset or blaming her.

Then I remembered the newspaper article which came out about me.  It was false but my lawyer said it would cost$7,000 dollars to fight the newspaper.  I didn’t have the money.  He looked around for some financing from companies which handle First Amendment cases and could find none.

So I lost a friend because she believed the newspaper.  Did she come to me for the facts?  No, she should have, and it made me sad because I realized the world is filled with people who do not know the truth. And even worse, believe they do! And worse than that – make no effort to learn the truth about the people around them.

News media must fear something to be so one-sided.

We look at American culture and see lies everywhere. The FBI spent $16 million dollars trying to find one shred of evidence that Donald Trump colluded with the Russians to fix the election in 2016. They haven’t.  A waste of money but people still believe it. Almost all political discussions begin with the words, “That’s not true.”

And consider God – who is more lied about than anyone I can name. That actually makes sense. The Bible tells us we are sinners and that if we don’t straighten up, we face eternal punishment. It is easier to say that is a lie than to face the issue straight on. Much of what you read about religion is doctored to fit someone else’s need to escape exposure.

The Bible is always under attack.

Scientists  come up with one theory after another to trash ideas  of creation or invent ones that leave God out. Psychologists will tell you something is a “lifestyle choice” which is little more than a predatory lust which damages both you and the victim in the end.

I’ve given up reading about the prescriptions I take.  Someone somewhere has a reason to believe they are poisoning me.  Another person says they are a miracle cure.  Since I have been taking them for 10 years I think I might be doing OK.

Being an adult has responsibilities.  You must find out the truth yourself.  If someone is lying about the government, the President, the Congress or the legislation being currently discussed, you can read all sides yourself.  You do not need to rely on bias from anywhere.  If you think there might be a shred if truth that you and the human race is headed for hell, look the stuff up!

And simple answers won’t do.  Important issues have many sides and if we want to learn and be stable in our living we must settle on truth for ourselves.

God has Called us to Peace in Marriage

The Bible was written for every person, a book that has become so attached to Christians and Jews we forget its universal application.  We Christians know our rules but there are rules for the rest of humanity because God is interested in every man on the planet no matter where he lives, what his religion, or background or language.  As Creator He wants to keep tabs on his creation and keep it as best as He can.

Marriage Rules apply to All

The rules for marriage are the same for all peoples. It begins with the idea that marriage is for two people who do not engage in sex before marriage.  There are good reasons for this, not just disease, but when a marriage starts on a clean slate it does better down the road. It reduces suspicion which an active sex life before marriage creates.

God also makes it clear that He is the center of the home.  Marriages in every generation have the same problems. When we see movies set in ancient times we think they might have been spared the agonies of infidelity, or war or conflict, mothers-in-law and food shortages.  But the nature of humanity is the same in all epochs; only the tools and times change. A home where there is warfare, spoken or silent, is not a happy place.  It is no place for children or adults. A God-less home is a rocky start.

Marriage has unique blessings

The blessing of marriage is that it sandpapers off the sharp edges in our personality. We learn to get along with others, and they learn to get along with us.   Any marriage in which one person is dominant can see trouble down the road.

But the opposite can be true as well. where there is too much agreement it can become jaded and boring.  Marriages, like businesses, need a mission statement and cooperation from everyone. A husband who demands his own way for 25 years should not be surprised when his wife leaves so she can have some life of her own.

Balance is the goal

Marriages require mutual accountability, but many men believe that as head of the home, the wife is accountable to him and he is accountable to no one. This is a recipe for failure. The woman can also be dominant and end up letting her husband defer to her when he should be taking the reins. Out-of-balance marriages like that collapse as well.

In the 20th century Christian churches got this notion that if the husband was not saved it was the wife’s fault.  I do not know where the idea came from but it ended up in many divorces.  Not one word in the Bible says that women are to save their husbands.  That is Jesus’ job.  And neither should they discipline them.

Men, not women, discipline other men

The Bible makes the community of faithful men leaders responsible for the discipline of men (husbands) who are out of order in some way.  If the man does not accept the correction of other men he is usually ostracized and since he wants (and needs) the company of other men he returns and learns his lesson.

Modern churches have failed in this mission. God does not want his ministers taking sides against either husbands or wives.  The church leader may not be able to save a marriage but neither need he appear to be on any side but that of the Lord.

Counseling often never gets to the root of the problem because the participants will talk about surface issues, like sex, or problem children, housekeeping and time management, money issues and the problems of marriage rather that the root cause.

The result is that in the 21st century only 28% of believers are in church on Sunday. Women got tired of being blamed for marriage failure and found something else to do on Sunday morning. Church business suffers because now there are not enough women to maintain those church duties which kept churches going.

What is the answer?  It comes from the scriptures.  God knows that there are some people, both male and female, who as an act of their will, WILL NOT knuckle under to God in any form. The Bible says basically “Let ’em go.”  If they are determined to have their own way, God has a lesson plan for them which they will sorely regret.

Self Will on the Throne

Judgment begins at the house of God, but that does not mean after death; discipline can happen throughout one’s life.  And not just husbands – wives as well.  The price of Self Will on the Throne of your life is pricey indeed.

“God has called us to peace.” If a situation is impossible, splitting up the home in order to have peace may be the only final answer. God hates divorce, it is true, but he hates war in the home just as much.

I Corinthians 7:15 but God hath called us to peace.