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Let’s Rethink Single Dating

The younger generation has nearly abandoned the idea of marriage and there is a pile of reasons for that. Has anyone considered the hazards of going out on dates with only one person at a time?

You don’t really get to know someone if it is only the two of you.

I’ve been on enough dates to know you only show your good side – usually, and it is easy when there are no challenges. Males can be nice for 3 -5 hours. Maybe even 6 hours; they can be nice at work for 8 hours as well. Their job depends on it.

But when you get people in groups, other things happen.

Years ago well meaning friends decided I needed to not-be-single anymore so they arranged a dinner after church with someone I had no interest in at the time. I didn’t know they were plotting.

This man, I will call him Roy, ordered a burger and fries. Sounds easy right? But there was something wrong with the meat, then the mayo, then the fries were not up to snuff. By the time the meal was over I was ready to stuff the entire plate down his throat with the silverware to follow.

None of this drama would have occurred on a date between just the two of us. His mama’s Southern upbringing would have him display the finest South Carolina manners.

Let’s go back to courting

Courting, in contrast, is the public agreement that marriage is a possibility. If you and your date can agree on this, you will have a concrete goal of getting to know each other without prying eyes. Life is lived in the whole, not as a part. So the public behavior will tell you whom to delete from your list from the start.

Now, many years later and many years older, I have a little test of my own. If I invite him to a restaurant as my guest and while at the meal he insists that he pay, I know he is a control freak and the dating ends there. He is not ready to share his life, only to control it.

Your parents, if they are concerned at all, will also know the right time to make a decision. If “he” or “she” is not ready then you can both go your own way without too many tears or regrets. No baby, no divorce, no alimony or child support, no house to divide up, no pricey lawyers or court dates. Simple.

#dating #divorce #personalrelationships